Random Thoughts

Domestic Violence: When Victim Is As Guilty As The Abuser

May 10, 2016

This domestic violence thing is getting more prominent these days. Not that there wasn’t in time past but the era we’re in seems to have seen it raise the bar. For all I care it’s no more domestic abuse, but now domestic murder. Men & women now courageously murder their better (scratch that) bitter half and then turn round to play the victim. What a shame.
My take…its not compulsory to marry. Neither is it compulsory to stay in a marriage, courtship or whatever relationship that is abusive in any way. It starts from emotional abuse then degenerates to verbal and then it gets physical being the height.

The signs are always there; sadly, these unfortunate blind lovers have refused to receive sight. The words of our Lord is applicable to them- they “keep on hearing but do not understand; keep on seeing but do not perceive…” Isaiah 6:9.
They go in blind from the beginning…from blind dates, then their love is infected with cataract which isn’t treated & it eventually goes blind. When disturbing circumstances begins to unfold which I believe is enough to open any blind eye, (even Bartimaeus’) they still choose to turn a blind eye.

Anyways, its so sad and unfortunate for these victims who have lost their lives at the hands of their wicked spouses. But for those still alive, please run, escape, leave, fly whatever it takes to get away from such a person do it. Your life here on earth is much more precious to God than throwing it at the feet of a swine. Yes, that’s what an abusive spouse is- A SWINE! They don’t know the value of you.


However, if you choose to stay, you are as guilty as your abuser. Please feel free to stay put and be beaten to death so that your spouse pays for it. I just feel that if attempted suicide is a criminal offence, then staying in a violently abusive relationship without making effort to save yourself must also be made constitutionally a criminal offence. Why? It is similar to being an accessory to attempted murder. Yup, you read right. If you choose to remain in such a relationship, you are providing the culprit with the victim (being you). I just hope this one is passed into law sha.
God save the home
God save the marriage institution
God save the federal republic of Nigeria
God save us all!

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  • Reply Uche Akomas May 10, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    Right timing and very apt. Nice one IB.

    • Reply Iboro Tonye-Edet May 10, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      Thank you Uche. We need to spread this word. people should stop accepting the position of victim and fight to live. Running i such a situation isn’t cowardice, its wisdom.

  • Reply Sunday Umanah May 10, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    Great thought Iboro, several good points embedded here and there. I believe its high time we knew the value of LIFE and encouraged ourselves to LIVE. We should not allow FEAR to keep us where a killer subsists…rather our COURAGE should take us away from danger before it becomes DANGEROUS. Matters of courtship; friendship; relationship and or partnership… Should be more of CHOICE than CHANCE. Be free to walk in and very very free to take a bow out.

    • Reply Iboro Tonye-Edet May 10, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      Heavy Gbam!!!! Thank you my brother. God bless

  • Reply Uduak May 10, 2016 at 1:34 pm

    Great piece IBy

    • Reply Iboro Tonye-Edet May 10, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      Thank you sis

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